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How to Catch a Xander (S/X) -- BtVS Ficlet

Posted by lamia_cobriana on 2006.07.18 at 02:15
Current Mood: happyhappy
Title: How to Catch a Xander
Author: The Serpent Guardian
Feedback: slyth_luce@yahoo.com
Archiving: Just let me know! Email provided above.
Fandom: Buffy: the Vampire Slayer
Disclaimer: I don’t own the boys, Joss Whedon does. Would he ever come up with this?
Pairing: Spander (Spike/Xander)
Rating: PG-15 for smut references
Warnings: Fluffy and sweet.
Summary: Spike comes across Twinkie Lip Balm. Look out Xander!

Author’s Note: So, fydyan came up with this challenge (Twinkie Lip Balm Challenge) and there was only one response. After reading it, I figured what if Spike had found it first? Enjoy!

How to Catch a Xander

Spike was with his Niblet when he saw it, Twinkie Lip Balm. He didn’t even think, he just grabbed one. His Niblet of course, saw what he’d done and when she saw what had got his attention she picked up two.

A raised eyebrow.

A snort. “I give it two days before you run out of that one.” A smirk.

A matching smirk twisted his lips; that was his Little Bit!

Dawn’s clothes shopping and Spike’s shoplifting lessons continued.


God, it was driving him crazy!

Just like almost every night, he’d walked into the Magic Box. He’d smelled it then. Sweet, golden deliciousness. But he couldn’t be right; Giles would never let those into his shop. And no matter how much he’d pleaded, he still wouldn’t. Anya had hated them, another reason for their break up. He still couldn’t believe that she’d expected him to give them up, completely! That was cruel and unusual even for an ex-Vengeance Demon. However, all during the meeting, he’d smelled it.

When they’d split up and headed on patrol, the heavenly smell had followed them out into the night. During patrol he’d catch a snatch of tantalizing sweetness. By the time they’d headed back to the Magic Box, he’d convinced himself that he was just craving them and he’d buy a box in the morning.

As soon as he got home, he headed straight for the shower. Why couldn't there be demons that didn't die a messy death? He had a towel wrapped around his slim waist, and his dark curly hair was dripping water down his sun-bronzed back; of course, that was when the knock on his door came.

Looking out the peephole, he sighed. He throw open the door, an insult on his lips, when he froze. Dragged in a long breath, then another. His dark eyes snapped open, the pupils dilated. “It’s you!” he exclaimed. Ha! He wasn’t insane! That delicious, lovely, yummy, golden sweetness scent wasn’t his imagination!

Spike only had a second to think about that… insult? Accusation? Before he had a wet Xander plastered to his front, kissing him.

No, this wasn’t kissing. Xander was devouring his lips. Finally, when he could breathe again, not that he needed to, but after that… “Think the bed’d be a better place for this, luv?” he panted out. His Xanpet was still pressed against him, rubbing against him. And just as happy to see him as he was to see his pet.


After, with his Xanluv sprawled across his chest and neither of them could even think about another round, Xander finally asked.

He chuckled, and with a bit of twisting and creative maneuvering, he managed to pull his duster closer and pulled out the lip balm. He handed it to his Xanpet.

Xander looked at the short, fat tube in his hand, at Spike, back at his hand and started laughing.

“Wot?” came the offended question.

He smiled softly, “I’ve been smelling this, this” holding up the lip balm “all night. It was driving me crazy.” He laughed again. “I knew a lot of demons used scent to court their mates, but I never thought I’d be courted with Twinkie Lip Balm!

This time, Spike joined in the laughter.


A/N: There may be a smut sequel, I have some ideas. I just need the inspiration and will. And no, I will never put in the smut interlude hinted at here.

Though, that last part? Spike using the scent of Twinkies to attract Xander? Anyone want to expand upon that? I’d be very happy to see it!


ebilchickens at 2006-07-18 09:37 (UTC) (Link)
Very nice. lol. Really like the fic. *Gives five star-shaped twinkies*
Debris K.
debris_k at 2006-07-18 11:31 (UTC) (Link)
Nice story, I liked it a lot. Sneaky Spike, using the Twinkie Lip Balm like that when he knew it would drive Xander crazy!

If you write more in this 'verse, I'd love to read it. And you're right:

Spike using the scent of Twinkies to attract Xander

would make a great fic! I'd write it, except I don't write too good, and my stuff tends to scare folx into non-responsiveness, apparently. *shrugs* Guess someone with actual l33t vvr!7!|\|9 5K!11z will have to do it. :-)
sablerose2 at 2006-07-18 11:55 (UTC) (Link)
I like Twinkies even better now hehehehe
most excellently twisted
fanbot at 2006-07-18 16:06 (UTC) (Link)
*Big Grin*
outsideth3box at 2006-07-18 18:00 (UTC) (Link)

I vote twice for the "smut sequel", ::BG::
kei_rin at 2006-07-18 18:29 (UTC) (Link)


*grins* Love the reveal when Xander realizes where the smell of Twinkies are coming from. ^_^
missus_grace at 2006-07-18 20:54 (UTC) (Link)
That was classic! Love the thought of Xander being courted with Twinkies!
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